Burninating the countrysiiiide... burninating the people...

TROGDOOOOOOOOOOOOR!!!!!!!!!!!!

This entry is chalked full of random things that kick ass. The first thing would be the kickass dragon you see here before you, Trogdor. He doesn't mess around. If you aren't cool enough, he'll burninate you and your entire village.

The second badass thing about this entry is the following list of the "World's Thinnest Books":

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FRENCH WAR HEROES

by Jacques Chirac

MAKING SUCCESSFUL MOVIES

by Steven Segal

MY BEAUTY SECRETS

by Janet Reno

MY SUPERBOWL HIGHLIGHTS

by Dan Marino

THINGS I LOVE ABOUT BILL

by Hillary Clinton

MY LITTLE BOOK OF PERSONAL HYGIENE

by Osama Bin Laden

THINGS I CANNOT AFFORD

by Bill Gates

THINGS I WOULD NOT DO FOR MONEY

by Dennis Rodman

MY WILD YEARS

by Al Gore

AMELIA EARHART'S GUIDE TO THE PACIFIC

AMERICA'S MOST POPULAR LAWYERS

DETROIT: A TRAVEL GUIDE

A COLLECTION OF MOTIVATIONAL SPEECHES

by Dr. J. Kevorkian

ALL THE MEN I HAVE LOVED BEFORE

by Ellen de Generes

GUIDE TO DATING ETIQUETTE

by Mike Tyson

SPOTTED OWL RECIPES

by the EPA

THE AMISH PHONE DIRECTORY

MY PLAN TO FIND
THE REAL KILLERS

by O. J. Simpson
with introduction by Robert Blake

101 AMAZING BREAD RECIPES

by Dr. Robert Atkins

Alas! Another Ingenious Idea That Isn't Mine!

A friend of mine recently informed me of a business move made by the creators of everyone's favorite "Coinstar". As if the original idea of the Coinstar machine wasn't ingenious enough, they've gone and caused business professionals everywhere to slap their foreheads once again with a universal inner-voice resounding, "It's so simple, yet... so genius!"

So, Coinstar has agreed to remove the usual 8.9 cent per dollar coin-cointing fee if the customer opts to receive their payment in the form of a "gift card" from that Coinstar center's merchant. They have also developed a "gift card mall" program, that offers merchants a turnkey solution to providing customers with a range of retail gift cards that can be purchased at the POS. Genius! Pure genius.

These brilliant Bellevue-based bastards have affiliated with Stored Value Systems (SVS), a subsidiary of Comdata Corporation, hence adding two distribution channels for SVS' gift card customers, who have been looking for additional distribution channels beyond their in-store delivery systems. The gift card sale and transaction will be processed by SVS and business-boom-bang!

The new frontier in gift card sales is not just boosting traditional sales within a merchant's four walls. Merchants are now looking for ways to get their gift cards in customer hands outside the traditional in-store delivery system. This agreement is a significant milestone in offering more distribution options for this very popular product.

Bob Skiba, SVS executive vice president and general manager

Gift cards are becoming more widly used by consumers as an additional method of retail purchasing. Of course 'Brainstar' already knew that. So, in good Rodeo Flip Off fashion, I salute you genius bastards with both middle fingers.

I'm going to go dig in the sofa for some change so I can get a Starbucks card now. Cheers!